(or A.A. for hozers)
How's it going eh?
I'm from north of lake Huron, i.e. northern Ontario.
I am not a red neck.
I don't live in cottage country.
When I go out of town for the weekend I don't go to the cottage, I go to the camp.
No I'm not a counselor nor do I host outings for youth.
Yes, one of my favorite summer activities was busting beaver dams.
No I never knew Jack the bear, but apparently he was big like ten and was many wild.
Our Official bird of spring is the black fly, not the Robin.
Planting trees in the spring is for romantic teenagers from southern Ontario.
Yes I drive a pick-up truck. No it's not four wheel drive. We plow our roads.
When it snows we don't call out the army. We don't even slowdown.
S.U.V.'s are owned by the S.O.B.'s in Southern Ontario driving up the cost of pick-up trucks so they can drive around Toronto's paved roads and feel safe and superior to B.M.W. and Porches.
Yes I drive a Ski-doo,
No I don't live in an Igloo.
We get summer in June, July and August just like the rest of Canada
(i.e. Southern Ontario, heh, heh!)
Yes some of us speak French,
O.k. some speak French and English at the same time.
I prefer my eggs side by each and facing the sun. Two pair of toast is an excellent garnish.
I like to work hard and play hard.
Our squirrels aren't rats with fuzzy tails, they are red and have an excellent noise and attitude.
I excel at the sports of curling and road hockey.
I'm a proud member of CARTA.
I like to drink beer from two-fours and barbecue with my friends.
My name is Dave, and I'm a Hozer!
........And unfortunately I now live in Toronto cuz there ain't no work back home.